hey world, just a quick update coz hillary has been asking me to. :)

today was bad day, leaving me feeling really very disgusted with some things. for goodness' sake. what makes you think tt it is supposed to be my top priority? what makes you think tt i can sacrifice all other commitments for it? what makes us convinced tt it's worth it? i really hate it, omgosh.

sometimes, i wonder what does the word passion mean. does it mean like you're so freaking head over heels in love with something tt you would go all out just for it? or does it mean something tt you only pursue in your free time? well today i found out the answer, didn't i? it means that your life muz revolve around it. it means that it has to be your top number one priority. hahaha.

but sports day was fun leh!!! poor hillary couldn't come coz she was stuck with CCA. she wanted to see how crowded the stadium was xDD so me and sijin took some pics using my pics! oh, and i da4 gai4 know how to send pics using bluetooth liao. lol.

i don't know why, but lately i've been feeling like crying. no, it's not because of my shit grades.. they may be disappointing but it's just not that feeling that's mounting up in me. but then again, i dun have many reasons to - with 35 nice classmates and being in 3Haven, life seems perfectly ok on the surface. but then again, something is wrong. maybe i'm being too overly conscious. maybe i'm living the wrong life. maybe what i'm currently left with is what i all started with - nothing.

in the eyes of you all, i may seem secured and self-assured. but maybe, this is not the case after all, even though i've always been trying to convince myself tt i'm fine. what do yall think of me? outgoing? funny? witty? exaggerative? lame? idiotic? a leader? a follower? hyper? nice? mean? superficial? someone who talks and whines a lot? a friend? or just a plain wannabe? these are just some of the many adjectives tt have been floating around in my mind for like so long already. i only chose some of the most prominent coz there are just TOO MANY to list down. i don't know who to tell ok. i know yall are nice ppl :) (oh, and thx so much for your help when i vomitted during PE yesterday for reasons i shall not mention here and had to go sick bay >< ) but i scared if i tell ppl then wait they get irritated or something.. maybe the friendship was strong at first, but coz of my incessant whining the friendship gets lost =(

a few days ago, i think hang yin could tell that i was sad >.< she was like asking me if i'm ok. like duh, i said i was. sian...

another question that has been bugging me as much is whether i have been living the wrong life. how many aspects of my life do i actually enjoy? what kind of satisfaction and pleasure do i derive from doing what i'm doing? i see other ppl, they all seem to have so much joy and fun doing all the stuff that they do.. me leh? sometimes when i do them i just emo and question myself on my purpose for doing it. quite weird right.

nvm. shall just drown myself in other stuff and forget it.