MOVED. To a place where only I know of. :D

I need a new beginning.

hello :D have not been updating this blog for very long.

a lot of things happened.

i shall revise differentiation, integration, vectors and probability and set theory.

1 day to math CT on statistics.

12 days to DHRP Symposium.

15 days to MEP Practical.

22 days to MEP Theory Prelim Paper.

56 days to EOYs.

MEP O-level Wordsetting paper has already began.

So many things to do, so little time. Will be having piano lesson tonight.. sigh there goes my time for revising statistics. SHIT.

Life has become increasingly unbearable. I promised myself not to tell people why.. it's much more complicated than just having shit grades alone.
I don't want to become too emotionally attached to anything or anyone; makes it so hard when you want to let go.
I hope I don't give up, or give in.

On a happy random note, PE and MEP tmr. I hope my Higher Music Essay is good enough. And we're getting back the listening exercise on the Mass. But I don't know if the voice is tenor or bass.. it may have been 1 mark gone already :(

Life is hard, trying to cope with studies, music and interpersonal relationships. But life is nothing much without these three things. :/

Been thinking a lot these days and getting lots of strange dreams -.- feeling emo like all the time. But Lisha, you musn't shed tears in front of other people..

I'm sorry that I'm becoming increasingly sad by day.
Don't ask me why, I don't feel like saying.
Some people know but if you're not among them, I doubt you'll have any idea on what I'm saying.
The next time I _______ I'm going to __________.
It's wrong to do this but I realize that I've come to the point where I don't care anymore.
BP project, screw you. Taking up the time I could have used for studying chem.
Chem, screw you. Taking up the time I could have used for piano.
Total shit man, I tell you.
'Screw life. :D

Hello. Week 2 has been INCREDIBLY stressful :( just hope I don't fail my math (I bet I failed this CT.. sigh..)

My hamster is damn funny. :D

I just changed its brand of hamster food, thinking that it would be tastier and more nutritious. So I threw away the old food (which looked kind of mouldy eew) and gave it the new one.

Being the picky Oreo that he always is, at first he refused to open his mouth. The most he would go would be to sniff at the food.

But when he realized that there's nothing else for him to eat, he reluctantly started eating.

Hello folks, this is my hamster. Who is evidently fussier than humans when it comes to food. Lol

Can someone please tell me why I feel like crying.

Wow. It's been really long since I last came to revive this dead-and-rotting blog. Never left it to decompose for so long =.=

As usual, lots of things have been happening since the last update. I'll not go into details; am just going to leave a few points here for your easy reference:

1. My Filipino maid went back after 4.5 years. No, she didn't cry @ Changi Airport.
2. My Myanmar maid came the same day. She was fired in 13 days (less than 2 weeks). 'Nuff said.
3. Now, I don't have a maid and am not intending to get a new one -.-
4. School's stressful. Flopped a lot of subjects, especially bio. Am currently the most satisfied with Physics (it's not that great lah but anyway.. hahaha). The rest of my subjects are much worse.
5. Been having a funny stomach for a few days. Woke up with stomache yesterday and had diarrohea since then. Medicine doesn't seem to work. Don't know if it's stomach flu :/
6. Mother's Day - Happy Mother's Day to my mum, my grandmas, my godma (ok she doesn't really have kids but nvm) and all other mothers out there! :D
7. School incidents have been quite HILARIOUS. This sentence sounds weird and random; don't bother guessing though you probably already know by now.
8. I like CS concert! Was laughing throughout many of the items. Siting you acted so well as the cruel stepmother, can be compared to Lady Macbeth! Hahaha :)
9. Surprise surprise. I finally went to church on Good Friday. But other than that one time, no more, no less. Yep.
10. Band SYF - silver, in case you don't already know. Damn sad can :(

Speaking of music, after almost half a year of hiatus thanks to waiting for the teacher, I can finally resume piano lessons, but now at Methodist Music School. All I can say about piano is that I'm getting more and more pekcek. Can't add in too many details here on my blog.

Band concert on 6 June. We're playing Carmen Suite. Held at PAC for $10 ONLY! Hahaha. Seriously lah can someone come? I haven't sold any of my tix yet! -.-

.. there are lots more to talk about, but not very positive, so.. just leave it like this..

i have no one to talk about those other things with. people can understand, but i just can't bring myself to tell them. feel like some fucking piece of shit.yes, thanks to YOU. :)

Have been thinking a lot lately. Really don't know what to do now. Part of me tells me that I should just give up in whatever I do coz it's not worth doing, but the other part of me tells me that I must keep on running the race of life's competition.

I really don't know what I am in for. I am a little scared of listening, maybe even to the point of being paranoid, but then again, I guess I have my grounds for doing so. I'm feeling really helpless now. Neither will I dare to tell people too much; you never know when all these private information may just fall into the wrong hands. Walls have ears, anyway.

Oh well. Too bad, too sad, accept that. Just do what life gives you and don't expect for more or less.

By the way, I've been feeling spiritually dry and undernourished. I know I need God and I know He's always there, but part of me just feels empty in the sense that I can't connect with Him properly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not backsliding, just that I find myself becoming increasingly cut off from the rest of the world, including God. Sigh. It's exactly like a desert oasis that has long dried up, leaving only dry, parched, cracked sand behind.

May things get better soon.

There. I KNEW I'd screw it.

FUCK IT. :(

Hey my blog (tagboard included) has never been so dead -.- thx to Siyao for helping to revive it! :D

Life has been pretty much a mundane, it's mostly school + band. Weekends spent sleeping in I guess.

1. SYF is on 3rd April :O damn I'm UNPREPARED -.-
2. HSSRP Symposium on 4th April (I just found out TODAY)
3. I had a nasty bout of flu >:(
4. My flu recovered and I had this really ^&(*&%%$ throat infection, which spread to my gums
5. I couldn't talk/eat/swallow properly for the past few days.. omg pure TORTURE..
6. I had to talk with my mouth CLOSED T_T
7. Thank God that I managed to see a specialist @ East Shore Hospital on tues after school. Could start talking properly yesterday (wed) and the pain is a lot better today! :D
8. Had combined strings tutorial today. Very few people turned up -.-
9. Hist SBQ Essay is due tmr and I totally forgot until I saw Hillary's facebook :O now is 10.54pm and I just started! Argh.
10. My birthday is on this coming wed :D 16 feels ancient =.= strangely, I don't feel much excitement this year compared to last year. I don't even feel like celebrating it leh :X

Better go now, need to chiong hist essay! Rahh.

Hello world.

Something very bad happened on Friday.. I think only Ruonan has some idea about how badly things turned out, but even then she doesn't know everything. Was feeling so bad that I felt like crying. Teared on the way home. Emo-ed throughout dinner, and had no mood to eat everything at one shot. Ate about one quarter of it, and my maid threw the rest away by mistake. I'm actually thankful to her for it.

Saturday: breakfast was one-quarter of butterfly pastry. Dinner @ Esplanade. Had oyster omelette, char kway teow and hokkien mee with my parents. Omg wow. But Mum complained that Dad ordered too much though. Under normal circumstances, I would have disputed her claim. But even though I was enjoying the taste of the food, I had to like stuff it into my mouth. Just didn't feel like eating.

Today is Sunday. Breakfast was glutinous rice that parents brought to their friend's place for potluck. Again, stuffing myself despite my heart and mind telling my mouth not to lol. Dinner was my all-time favourite bar chor kway teow (dry) @ Rail Mall. Didn't enjoy it much though. Only ate half a piece of Ya Kun Kaya Toast; parents took the other 3.5 pieces. Totally no mood to eat. :(

Ruonan says I must eat more, if not I won't be able to get in tune lol. But after what happened on Friday, my huge appetite has diminished. I'm not dieting/fasting, serious. It's just that.. what happened has caused me to have no mood for eating -- one of my favourite pastimes. Sigh.

It's really amazing how irritating people never fail to get the better of me. They seem to have perfect knowledge of which buttons to push, what words to use and where all my nerves are located. Because they succeed every time.

Oh man, how long more? -.-

School is starting tomorrow -- time really flies! -- it is going to be the beginning of Week 5. At the end of this week, half a term aka one-eighth of a year would have elapsed. I wonder what this year would bring. I hope massive grievances wouldn't be part of the package ok.

What. The. Fuck.

Is it wrong to want to achieve more?

Haiz.. was talking to someone yesterday. It was a meaningful conversation, but left me feeling very emo :( we argued, but didn't quarrel, but that's not the point. I realized that my experiences have left me with perceptions that contribute to my value system today. And as a person, as a Christian, perhaps what I believe in isn't exactly ideal?

I seriously felt like crying, but thankfully, no tears (: maybe that person is right. Maybe I should embrace change. Maybe that's what is hindering me.

I don't know what to do.

Hmm school has just started and lessons will be pretty (or rather, very) hiong this year I guess.

Lisha is stressed :(


1. Drawing magnetic field lines is fun I guess :) hope my lousy art doesn't pull me down! (I can only draw stick figures decently leh)

2. Mr Ng told us (right-handers) to practice drawing with our left hand everyday, which is supposed to help our intonation and musical sensivity. As I am practically 100% left-brained, I guess I really need to do this! If not I shall flop indoor test, SYF, ARSM Dip etcetc.. CHOY!

3. I MUST IMPROVE MY GPA. Even if it means sleeping @ 2am and waking up @ 6am even on weekends. (But given my pathetique standard of self-discipline, I'll prolly wake up @ 10am -.-)

4. I am confused, as seen from my MSN nick.

5. I need to practice my math, if not I won't be able to follow Mr Yap in class. Matrices are quite confusing T_T in short, I need to STUDY NOWWW.

6. This is the first year I'm having a guy (Mr Jeffery Ng) as my form teacher. Haha ok random. He's nice lah.

7. The above point does not mean that I (or rather, we) won't miss Ms Low.. (P.s. I hope she invites us to her house to eat again lolololol) xD

8. I MUST NOT flop my internal exams & O-levels (HCL and MEP). 1 flop and I guess I'm done for.

9. Needa do something about my spiritual growth. ><

***

Ok I shall post my New Year's Resolutions here, but only briefly in case the information falls into the wrong hands. I wanna get better grades, become more musically inclined (i.e. stop going out of tune T_T be more sensitive, better technique/interpretation), acquire more values (self-discipline, diligence, no more procrastination etc) and become a better Christian. I guess yall should know what I mean. But it's hard :/ sighhh..

And I've gained some weight during the holidays. HALLELUJAH.

Which means I needa exercise to shed off the extra kilos. :(

***

Yep that's all for now, bye :)

Hey.. orientation was really tiring today!! Was practically running all over Singapore & my legs are still aching D: but it was really fun! Coz it was the first time we went on an excursion (?) without the usual school bus and teachers accompanying us and whatnots. Just 2 facils and 11 of us. Plus, there was all that calorie-burning (I hope) :D hopefully it burned away my KFC lunch too! Was on the verge of indigestion after eating.. my stomach is just so picky I guess.

And I realized that I stained my brand-new bag with JUICE!!! ARGH. Luckily it's dark green and stained at the bottom so it's not really obvious. But I hope a trail of ants don't get attracted to it leh. Haven't got time to wash it coz was busy touching up MEP, and the juice stinks I tell you. :(

Then went for band. I like the new sectionals rooms; they're air-conditioned with nice carpets and soundproof walls! And blur Ruonan wore her shoes inside for damn long, only to get laughed at by the rest of us T_T The next indoor will be on 16th jan, I hope I can be prepared in time. Band again tmr.. dry run for CCA Orientation and hopefully I get to self-prac too. MY SKILLS ARE DETETIORIATING FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT AHHH... I bet Mr Ng realized this too D:

Ok, need to send out my MEP Essay Proposal and then go to sleep -- something which I have been craving for since today's Street Chase!

Goodnight, everyone! :D

Hello people.. have not been posting here for very long. I doubt anyone even comes here to look at this dead blog.

Well I guess I have been in a pensieve mood for the past few weeks.. too many things on my plate and I just don't feel like telling others about it or even consider the thought of becoming a social butterfly. Hmm maybe I should just take a life retreat -- handle everything slowly and calmly until I've gained my sanity back.

School reopened two days ago, and I must say it's nice to see 3H'08 again, or rather 4H'09. Been ages since I last contacted/saw any of them. But the sad thing is that Ms Low is not our form teacher anymore; she isn't even our Math teacher!!! Bleh I bet many people will miss her, including myself ): but Mr Ng seems like a nice form teacher anyway, so I guess I shall just look on the bright side :) hahahahaha.

Thought of doing a post to sum up 2008, but the year has been so interesting and colourful that it would take a longggg blog post to sum up everything, thus I shall not bother about it. All I can say is that I guess I've matured over the past year, met lots of impactful people and experiences and changed my perspective of life by quite a fair bit. Although yeah, I've still retained many aspects of my personality. But I know that God intends all these changes -- regardless of whether they were painful or pleasant -- for the best, so I'm glad to have a Dad who cares for me all the way. :D

Lastly, Charismatic or Methodist -- which is better? I don't know. God, give me a sign! *worried*