Have been thinking a lot lately. Really don't know what to do now. Part of me tells me that I should just give up in whatever I do coz it's not worth doing, but the other part of me tells me that I must keep on running the race of life's competition.

I really don't know what I am in for. I am a little scared of listening, maybe even to the point of being paranoid, but then again, I guess I have my grounds for doing so. I'm feeling really helpless now. Neither will I dare to tell people too much; you never know when all these private information may just fall into the wrong hands. Walls have ears, anyway.

Oh well. Too bad, too sad, accept that. Just do what life gives you and don't expect for more or less.

By the way, I've been feeling spiritually dry and undernourished. I know I need God and I know He's always there, but part of me just feels empty in the sense that I can't connect with Him properly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not backsliding, just that I find myself becoming increasingly cut off from the rest of the world, including God. Sigh. It's exactly like a desert oasis that has long dried up, leaving only dry, parched, cracked sand behind.

May things get better soon.