math was shit. feeling damn apprehensive about it, dun even know whether i can pass or not, let alone get at least 80%. maybe i should have studied more, i mean, we've seen those kind of questions before right? sigh. the test was for like only 20min, and 5 questions!! T_T and to make things worse, when time was already running out, ms low said "4 more mins" then i began panicking like SIAO ok!! as a result, my mind went blank and i couldn't do anything anymore, even though under normal circumstances i think i would be able to.

why are some people born with natural math talent while others are math noobs no matter how hard they try not to be one? maybe i'm just not born to be good at math. and i was so upset and stressed out over the quiz tt for practically 1 period, i was like stoning and lamenting to hang yin about my zero IQ. (thanks hang yin for listening to all my crap even though it was a waste of time and you could have used the time to do something more profitable! :) ) she told me dun stress myself, tt kind of thing lah, but it's not as if i want to stress myself in the 1st place. to me, marks are tt important. especially a useful, core subject like math.

sigh.

confusion

i really dunno what to do these days. so many things to do, yet so little time and motivation to do them. i feel torn between so many worlds - i really don't know what is best for me. people would say tt this is just teenage angst; everyone goes through them. but sometimes i just feel like it's going to kill me anytime. and someone who keeps pestering me whether there is anything to hand up tmr is REALLY IRRITATING. &*^&(^%Y*%. CAN YOU PLEASE ACCEPT AND UNDERSTAND THE FACT THAT I HATE BUSYBODIES?!?! ugh. been feeling pretty pissed off these few days. but it's not like i'd tell many ppl about it.. not that i dun trust anyone, but since i'm a complete sucker for sharing emotions, i prefer bottling everything inside and just wait for it to go away.

***

i'm sorry but i have to let everything out here.

i'm really sick and tired of all this shit. all my life, i've been doing things to make YOU happy. you guys have always dominated my life, so that my likes/dislikes/interests/dreams become yours, and there's practically nothing left for me to call my very own. i dun even feel comfortable around you anymore! you claim you love me and care for me so if there's anything wrong you'll always be here for me. but everytime i try to tell you about what i TRULY feel, you'll be angry and say something like "SHUT UP!", "don't talk crap to me", "we've discussed it already, i don't wish to repeat myself" or, "you have no right to be angry." what the hell. you think that since i was once a toddler means i'm a toddler forever is it -.- you don't realize that you must expect different levels of submissiveness from toddlers and teenagers. i find you shockingly domineering and controlling. it's like, i dun even have any breathing space at all! i feel trapped.. within the confines of my own home. my home, a place supposed to be filled with warmth, care and security, has now only been demolished to a place where i eat, sleep, bathe and study in. talk about what care and security. unless you're referring to the lack of security without a roof over your head lah, that is.

i'm still very pissed about many matters which have supposedly "closed" years ago. i feel as though i'm living my life for the two of you.. which is retarded, coz IT'S MY LIFE. MY LIFE, not YOURS. if you've made some success over it, then i wouldn't mind.. i would trust you anyway wad. however, time and again, you screw up all my plans, hopes and strategies for a better future. if i were to make my own decisions, whether it turns out well or not, i'm fully responsible for it. but if YOU make MY decisions, if it turns out well, the credit will partially go to me, partially to you. (if the consequences are desirable then i wouldn't mind sharing the credit.) but if it turns out badly (like it almost always does), i'm SOLELY HELD ACCOUNTABLE. held accountable, even though i had no choice but to follow. held accountable, even though the decision wasn't made by me. then you will come and blame me, say that i'm never happy with what i have. of course not happy right, since i have nothing to be happy about with your decisions -.-

you say that you love me so much, you want me to succeed tts why you plan out my future for me. and i can't have a say because you're "so much older and have seen so much more of life than me". so yup. no self-made decisions, no happiness, ultimately no success, which brings about more unhappiness. when i'm pissed, you will say tt i like to make myself angry for no good reason, always like to roll my eyes, tts why my eyesight was good then now detioriated, tts why i got migraine. then still say what "when everybody is achieving success, you will be in the operating room. no amount of money can replace you being in the operating room." then will proceed to tell me about the horrors of it. (dun want to type here coz i lazy xD )

when i show signs of irritation and hint to you that you don't deserve to take 200% control of my life, you will say," then dun come and complain tt you dun get the success you want." like duh, of course i dun! coz you always come and ruin my plans. you dun realize that i know myself best, you barely know me coz i won't reveal my character to you.. just because you gave birth to me or you hope i'll take after your genes or some bullshit you know me much better than i know myself. how many dreams i had to part with in order to make you happy! i know i have lost my sense of self in the process. but do you care? NO! you never care about feelings.. if you do it's only your own. i never get a say in my everyday affairs. people have advised me, time and again, to sit down and have a good talk with you guys. ok lah, talk then talk lor. but the problem is, will you think it IS a problem that has to be addressed, or me showing some attitude problem? we both know the answer, dun we?

and you. you say that whatever i do must lead me to a trophy, so dun waste time doing things that dun. yet, you tell me that this kind of do-things-which-will-lead-me-to-a-common-benefit mentality is too singaporean. ugh. dun you realize you are just contradicting yourself? never mind if those areas are what i'm truly passionate in! never mind that those things are just as important to me as academics! never mind that those things are a measure of my self-worth! never mind lah, coz only your opinions matter, right? i know you will agree.

people think that whenever i have a problem (including those with you), i can always tell them. so they may be wondering, why dun you share it with someone then?

and it's such a simple question.

ugh. i wonder when this will end.

wah stupid stupid stupid -.- i received the damn msn virus thrice today. 1st time was from meera, my pri school friend.. when i saw my email at the file i go open.. then found out it was a virus. by then too late liao.. invaded my whole msn and automatically go send to my contacts without my knowledge and control. the 2nd and 3rd time was from joshua.. he claim i go send to him then it go send to all his contacts. ran the antivirus for dunno how many times liao.. and delayed my history group (sorry!) argh. now is 12.57am and there's still the speech to write.. thankfully, jin jia did quite a lot liao :) i damn tired.. for the past few days, i slept a grand total of 9 HOURS!

imba LOL.

hi. yay sian sian sian! i really hope emperor can come along fine.

rahh. i will never dare to touch sodium hydroxide ever again in my entire life.

so retarded. i got burnt by it today..

coz during chem lesson, we were doing chem experiments, and my NaOH bottle apparently was leaking (but i didn't dare to screw it tightly in case i got burnt), so i just poured and.. OWW! (i think i screamed very loudly leh. >.< )

so went to rinse my hand under running water and called the teacher.. then she gave me first aid O.O thanks steffi, ei leen, felise and cheng ting etc for their help! :D just now when i was bathing, it started stinging again.. oww. nvm lah, tchr said it should be ok within 2 days, so i take it as a definite yes =D

should go eat my dinner now, then clear up my math holiday homework coz it's due tmr and i don't exactly have very little left! (Appalling LOL.)

feel damn retarded now

so demoralizing..

should i or should i not? i know i'm unprepared, but golden opportunities only come once in a lifetime.

kinda emo.. coz wad ms lin said, after all, is true.

but then again, i can't back out now, can i?

in such a dilemma now.. both ways are equally enticing

i really don't know what's best

i couldn't concentrate during math lesson coz of this..

you guys probably didn't know what i was thinking.. but thanks for cheering me up (unconsciously) with all the crap and laughter :)

and for awhile, i really forgot all about it..

but then, it stupidly chose to come back =(

went to RGS for the HSSRP briefing today

mdm nora drove me there (wow) and i sat there in her car feeling so paiseh..

coz the 2 of us were the only ones there =/

but she was nice.. she offered to drop me off somewhere after the briefing (:

but my dad was already picking me up so i didn't go.

i saw phyllis at the briefing!! she's my pri sch friend!! =D

then we kept laughing and laughing during the briefing..

then there was this group of guys who went to present their proposal..

one of them was standing straight, BUT his butt was sticking out -.-

we all were sniggering.. i hope we didn't laugh too loudly xD

right now her msn nick is "it isnt alright if you stand real straight with your butt sticking out you know" LOL!

then there was this girl.. she kept applying dunno wad lipstick or lip gloss or something in plain view of everyone.. when the speaker was speaking

so disrespectful huh =.=

we sniggered at tt too xD

but the worst was this woman.. i shan't say anything about it here.. coz it's too err.. sick to be spoken on the internet anyway

the briefing was kinda boring.. but it was fun to see phyllis again LOL

but i wasn't thrilled about the ponning lessons part though.

missed chem test.. and i heard CME was funny.

arghh.

gtg now. bye

second post for the day. lol. i know my previous post sounded kinda cut off suddenly coz i was in a rush just now. but now i have time so i shall post properly.. actually i don't really have anything much to say except tt my sore throat still hasn't recovered. at least it was better than this afternoon when i was laughing and laughing and then all the phlegm came. then it was so difficult to talk but at least my voice wasn't so bad. so just now still can talk lah (:

popping fisherman's friend into my mouth now. i think i will finish the entire pack of 22 lozenges before tmr afternoon. stupid throat. i should thank the person who made me laugh and laugh by repeating the err.. sensitive subject with perfect knowledge of the consequences. i know i laughed like crazy in class today. LOL. well now i guess i'm reaping the fruits of my labour =/

discussing hist project now. damn tired from just now.. all the laughing and supposedly 7 periods of MEP. luckily ms lin was nice and let us off at 5.11pm when dismissal was supposed to be at 5.45pm. some more i was so desperate for fisherman's friend tt i ran over to ghim moh during lunch and came back within 15 min! argh. and i kept eating them during MEP. when i told ppl aboout how i got my sore throat, they were all like O.O.. well i'm feeling this way also!

ok, i guess i shall go do hist proj now.. quite short of time now. it's 10.48pm and i'm aiming to go to bed before 11.30 (quite unrealistic i know. haha). anyway, gtg now. bb =)

hi ppl.. back for my 60th post (: thought i'd better post while i still can, before it's too late ;)
I LEARNT THE FOLLOWING INVALUABLE LESSONS IN SCHOOL!
1. russian churches are onion-shaped and symmetrical, supposed to resemble a candle flame.
2. you must never scold a russian tour guide in chinese because they can understand you.
3. LA film can be a satire if you want a comedy.
4. People can laugh until they have sore throat (like what happened to me today >.< )

commomwealth essay
emperor concerto
piano diploma
new standards in life
new academics standards
new CCA expectations
i do hope i actually make the best out of it and not screw it up >.<
***
fatigue
stress
the harshness of reality sinking in
emo-ing
disappointment
wanting to seek solace through prayer to God
sianfied
doesn't know if what she's doing is right
doesn't know if she even knows what she's doing
tired.
very tired.
wanting to give up
yet wanting to press on
wants to learn how to persevere
yet acknowledges the inevitable fear and reality of burnouts
nervous breakdowns..? not true now.. and hopefully, forever
trying to push beyond the limits
yet knowing that some limits ARE limits.. God put them there for a purpose
biting off more than what can be chewed
crossing fingers so a failure will not be prevalent
something lurking at the back of the mind
yet not knowing what it was.. or why it was there
forget it. leave it alone
will work cause it to be forgotten?
it's retarded, but hey, maybe it works
commonwealth essay is crap after all.
homework to be done
life has to go on
yet still herer crapping like this
not knowing how
not knowing why.
untruthful,
unsure,
unconfident.
oh well. but it's all crap anyway.
***
sometimes life is all like this
watching people all leaving
watching silently, no goodbye, no tears
maybe that's what it's meant to be after all
unknown,
unidentified,
like a closed book.
ah well.
bye bye.
goodnight.
it is 11.29pm now
and there's school tomorrow.

haha. came back from school.. should be bathing by now but heck it, i wanna use the comp 1st :) wah for 12 days my CPU crashed, so i was thrilled when i got it back. then for the next 3 days my wireless network adapter crashed, so i could only use the comp again today. 15 days without internet.. can die man hahaha.

orientation's been great :) especially the leadership stuff. our new form teacher is ms low, and yep, i think she's nice.. she talks a lot. LOL. got to know quite a few new ppl too. 3H 08' has been fun so far, and i hope it will continue to be for the next 2 yrs! (like the way we forced ben to sing yue liang dai biao wo de xin.. haha.)

ok, feeling very tired now. dun feel like blogging anymore.

YAY! I GOT THE HSSRP MENTORSHIP!!!

hahaha.. waiting for the channel 8 7pm show to begin. so i guess i'm wasting time here by blogging AGAIN. LA's a killer ok.. the commonwealth essay topics are damn abstract can. wish they can let us choose the topics we want to write about, and judge us based on what we've written. argh. not all of us are blessed with the gift of creative writing, and even fewer of us are ideal candidates to be trained for creative writing.

seems like MEP A-levels is quite interesting hor? but then.. i think i will reject the offer when school starts. don't see much point in pursuing MEP to such a high level.. especially since i am NOT planning to study it in university, much less become a professional musician.

(Wish me luck for the emperor concerto k? (: i'm confused with the rhythm for some parts.. and it seems like i only have up till band camp to get the whole thing sorted out. i haven't even finished learning the 1st movement, and i tell you, the 2nd and 3rd movements are also very intimidating!! tchaikovsky no. 1 is worse anyway. haha.)

went out with eunice on tues.. we had great fun! aloe vera.. LOL.. and the neoprints! hope we can do tt again before this holiday ends!

have not arranged for sectionals at anyone's houses yet. ah well, elizabeth is away (: so i guess there's still time.

bye for now!

1. Your'ex'and You: He's nonexistent :D
2. I am listening to: a conversation that happens to be too loud.. but I can't hear clearly
3. Maybe I should: Do hw? prac piano? Build up my section? No, all these things are NOT should.. they're MUSTS.
4. I love: piano (:
5. I don't understand: much about life.. haha
7. I have lost my respect for: those who know me will know who that person is :)
8. I last ate: a banana
9. The meaning of my display name is: how sianned and pissed of I am.
10. God: exists.
11. Someday: I will realize that blogging is retarded.
12. I will always be: a geography-hater (but anyway I'm dropping it.. YAY!)(:1
3. Love seems to be: how I know -.-
14. I never ever want to lose: myself?
15. My myspace is: I don't have it
17. I get annoyed when: People assume they have the liscence to make my decisions.. UGH.
20. Simple Kisses: I dunno anything about them. LOL.
21. Today I: went to school for CCA.
22. I wish: my hw has been magically done, I have finished studying for next year, my section improves and becomes more bonded, I improve my piano playing and of course BETTER GRADES!!!(:
***
Jia you. I hope we all can strive for a common goal, so as to achieve a brighter tomorrow. I really hope it can come true.

1. I'm freaking bored right now.
2. I'm terribly tired right now but can't sleep yet coz i must finish writing my scales for tmr.
3. Whole tone scales are guai lan.
4. I haven't progressed much for the piano concerto - a few bars after the 1st cadenza was all I've attempted so far.

5. I hate this year's LA homework (Commonwealth Essay) coz it's damn abstract can -.- sometimes I wish I can do creative writing, but sadly, I can't.

6. I have NOT fully memorised my 3 Piano Diploma Exam Pieces. And I'm hoping to do my exam in may/june next year. Die.

These are just a bunch of lame and random thoughts that come to my mind.

Oh yes it's going to be my cousin's wedding this sat!!! =D One extra day to slack.. I shall not be a madwoman and bring holiday homework to do during the tea ceremony although obviously I am not going to be involved in drinking the tea. LOL.

The Channel 8 7pm show (lao po da ren) is damn funny ok.. I was laughing throughout the whole time today. Considering that I have NOT been watching TV regularly ever since P6, I'm only beginning to re-learn how to enjoy them again xD

Hahahahahaha.

Oh my gosh. The top PSLE score this year is 294. WTH.

Argh... my days begin at 7++ am and end at 12 or 1++. What kind of holiday is this man.. I'm really tired, you know..

I'm relying on coffee to keep myself awake. Just like before the exams. Like wth?

The good thing is that it's my cousin's wedding this sat!! At least I can have 1 day to slack with my family =P but like I suppose, it's only for 1 day..

There is CCA 3 times this week. Mon and fri is for everyone, and wed is for the sec 1s and 2s coz they think we are very weak in our playing. Haha. I tell you, I'm like freaking sleep-deprived OK!!! Now is 7.45am. I'm currently downloading stuff we need for CCA tt my junior sent me yesterday. And I'm practically sleepwalking.

Yeah, this post is all about me complaining about fatigue and telling others how tired I am. Haiz... I wish there can just be ONE DAY where I can just SLEEP and RELAX and SLACK.. coz I feel damn unenergetic now.

This is supposed to be a tired post.

YAY. I finally found this PERFECTLY SUITABLE SKIN. No more retarded pics and misplaced tagboard.

Haha

I am happy.

random quiz

1. Who were you with last night? My family.
2. What woke you up this morning? Myself. LOL.
3. Where are you?Home.
4. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?I hope so
5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No.
6.When was the last time you cried? Can't remember
7. Ever thrown up in public? Think so >.<
8. Passed out because of alcohol? I've never passed out -.-
9. Who's on your mind RIGHT NOW? 2J'07. Class chalet tmr mah.
10. Would you take a bullet for anyone? Depends on who is it
11. Where would you like to live? Home (:
12. What do you want to be when you grow up? What do YOU think I want to be? Haha.
13. Who is your number one? God!
14. Have you kissed your number 1? Can I kiss God, at least for now? -.="
15. Who was the last person that left you a comment? Zhi Wei.
16. Do you like candy necklaces? NO.
19. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? Can't remember.
20. Do you listen to music every day? Almost everyday.
21. What was the last thing you bit?Lunch.
23. Are you a fast typer? How fast is fast?
24. About how many people have you liked? I still like them leh, many people xD
26. What are you doing this weekend? Practice piano and study lor. My life is very boring one leh.
27. Whats your favorite type of soda? Coke!
28. Have you ever won an award? Yes O.O
29. What do you want to do right now? Sleep. But if I do it will only reflect a lack of self-discipline, so...
30. Are you listening to music right now? No.
31. Do you like someone right now? Many many Jarviis!
33. How long 'til your birthday? 5 more months. Wait long long.
34. When were you the saddest in your whole life? Getting PSLE results =.=
35. What time is it? 4.17pm
36. Do you use Ebay to buy or sell? No.
37. What makes you mad? Many things. If you know me you will know what they are. LOL.
38. Have you ever had a song written about you? Nah, and I like it this way :)
39. What song makes you cry? Christian.. sometimes.
40.What song makes you happy? Christian, classical, pop, rap, jazz, metal, piano concertos!!
42. What do you like to listen to? Music, the sound of sea waves lapping against the shore..
43. Do you have a job? Student. I'm only 14 what -.-
45. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Purple, though I like black more.
46. What makes you happy? God, piano, spending time with friends and loved ones, jarvix!
47. Whats the next CD you're gonna get? How I know. But my piano teacher said she's going to get me the complete set of Schubert Impromptus for Christmas.. YAY YAY!!!
48. Are you taller than your mom? Yes >.<
49. What color is your car? Black, but strictly speaking, it's my father's car.
50. What is the closest thing to you that is red? My mum's pencil case.
51. What is your ringtone? Vibrations
52. Does anything hurt on your body right now? Backbone. Argh.
53. What colour is your favorite pillow? I don't care about colour, I care about texture.
54. Had a nap today? No
55. Gold or silver? Silver.
56. Is there an animal that creeps you out? Insects especially moths. *Shudder*
57. Hello. How are you? In pain? Otherwise perfectly fine, thank you.
58. Did you go iceskating as a kid? Yeah, and loved it.
59. Ever have stitches? No.. thankfully (:
60. Favorite non-alcoholic drink? ICED FRENCH VANILLA COFFEE!!! (What a pity the school canteen doesn't seem to sell it anymore.)
61. How long ago did you kiss someone? Can't remember.
62. What's something you want to do before you die? Get baptized, spend time with God, spend as much time as possible with my family and friends, play more piano and of course achieve everything I want to achieve.
63. Have you ever caught something on fire? Yes, my hand T.T
64. Have you ever seen the northern lights? I wish i did.
65. Do you know how to use chopsticks? Duh -.- I'm Chinese after all.
66. Name something good that happened today. I'm blogging.
67. What room are you in? Open-air study room.
68. Are you worried about something you can't control? Yeah, lots. Worry is a sin though.
69. Do you take daily medications? No.. Yay I'm healthy!
70. Ever been in a fight? When I'm angry with someone lor.
71. Are you wearing nail polish? No.
72. Favorite color?Purple, black, hot pink, lime green
73. Ever used an Ouija board? No.
74. Sweet or sour? Sweet.
75. Sun or moon?Depends.
76. What shoes did you wear today? None yet. Was at home the whole day.
77. Favorite eye color of the opposite sex? Black
78. Most important quality in any relationship? Acceptance.
79. Favorite zombie movie? I dont watch zombie movies.
78. Time of day you were born? 4++ pm.
79. Do you know your blood type? O+
80. Do you know how to kill a zombie? WTH.
81. What would you spend $5000 on? I dunno.. neccessities I guess.
82. Name something annoying in public transport? How crowded it can get.
83. Would you ever change your name? I ever considered, but apparently you need to get a lawyer to do it for you and you need to make a new IC etc, which is a pure waste of money, so..
84. Would you ever consider going on a reality tv show if offered a large sum of money? Only if the money is enough to entice me.
85. Have you flown in your dreams? No.. surprisingly.
86. Do you smoke? I hate smokers and I don't want to weaken my lungs, which are already weak from asthma.
87. Hugs or kisses? Hugs.
88. You have 10 dollars to spend in the dollar store. Then?
89. Who is the ultimate love of your life? God duh. Rhetorical question -.-

Finished!! Yay.

YAY!!! Finally changed my blogskin. I find this new one more befitting than the old one. Guess what, I took like FOREVER to find it!! Coz all the blogskins like all so emo one, and emoness isn't exactly the image I hope to portray to those who read my blog. (Not that I'm emo in the first place. Haha.)

Have been quite lazy to practice piano for the past few days, and I believe that at the rate I'm going, I shall FLUNK MY DIPLOMA!! oh no >.<

Class chalet is from the 14th to the 16th (which means it starts tmr). What a pity that I can only go on thurs, FOR ONE DAY!! Haiz... thanks to CCA.

***

I still miss 2J.

No more dirty classroom

No more shouts of "hoi!"

No more balls being thrown about in class thanks to those who enjoy volleyball

No more 'J's on the class noticeboards

No more Shylock

No more Scout, Jem and Dill

No more Boo Radley

No more Valencia sleeping in class

No more Mr. Siva making fun of Yang Shen (talk about pure sacarsm)

No more Fiona's horny talks

No more Zhi Wei's high-frequency laughter

No more Yizhen's bullet-train talking

No more cramming in last-minute homework before flag raising

But worst of all,

NO MORE JARVIX!!!

I will never forget those tears so many people shed on the last day of school. The thought of us splitting up permanently saddens me. Yes we know that life has to go on, that even the best of friends must part, but that knowledge doesn't make the process of saying goodbye any easier. Thanks everyone for all the wonderful memories.

"Don't cry coz it's over, smile coz it happened."

Even though I only have one free day, I really hope that I WILL be able to go for class chalet. The sight of most of the class having fun together, is well, too good to miss.

And as we embark on our new lives next year and for all other new years to come, I will never forget 2J. I will, truly, miss everyone.

***

I know it sounds emo, but who cannot be emo when splitting up with THE thing that has been an integral part of his/her life for the past 2 years? Although I wasn't all that thrilled in the beginnng to be coming to Dunman High, I have grown to love the people I have gotten to know through it.

LOL.

Rightfully, it is time for me to go do something more productive. So I guess I will stop crapping here for now and go do the things I should be doing.

Yeah that's all for now.

Bye.

OK, so 3H'08/4H'09 will be where I am going to spend the next 2 years of my life.

The thing is, I dunno if it's good or bad =/

Hope it will turn out well :X but only 3 other jarviis are in my class. Dilys, Xiaozhou and Yitian.

Today was quite funny actually. After CCA (which ended at 1++), i CHIONGED home for the first time in my life.. just to check my posting results, though I know that obviously it will be posted there for the whole of today.. and many days after -.- LOL

As predicted, I was quite excited about the prospect of going to a new class in DHS, though of course I still like 2J'07. But my spirits were dampened and I ws utterly disappointed and disgusted when I saw that __________. SAO3 XING4. (To those of you reading this post, rest assured I am a nice person xD I prefer not to say such things unless in times of err.. extreme provocations). Haha. Anyway, those who know me well enough will know what I'm talking about, so I guess it's best to be gracious here and leave the rest up to the guesswork of others. :)

Enough of muttering. Anyway, I baked today!! Peanut bread in the shape of my hamster and orange chiffon cake! But I'm not sure if the chiffon cake turned out right though =/ it seems a bit weird. LOL. I don't care if it's proper or not, what matters is that it's edible.. and I think it is!! Hahahaha!

OK bye for now =P don't feel like blogging anymore.

[x] I know how to cook toast.
[x] I can do my own laundry.
[x] I can cook for myself. (Simple stuff only lar.)
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations.
Total So Far: 4

[x] I show up for school MOST of the time unless I'm sick.
[ ] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[x] I've never gotten a detention.
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I drink coffee at least once a week.Total So Far: 7

[x] I know how to run the dish washer and/or do the dishes.
[ ]I can count to 5 in either Spanish/French/German/Italian/etc.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[ ] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I remember to water my plants. (Not that I have any.)
[x] I study when I HAVE to.
[x] I pay attention at school.
[x] I remember to feed my pets.
Total So Far: 13

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up.
[x] The first thing I do when I get home is eat.
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand jokes the first time they are said.
[ ] I can type fast.
Total So Far: 17

[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[x] I realize that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.
Total So Far: 19

[x] I knew that the alphabet and twinkle twinkle little star have the same rythym.
[ ] You just checked.
[x] I noticed rhythm is spelled wrong.
[ ] You actually watch the weather.
Total So Far: 21
You act like you are 21 years old O.O

1. Your name plus "ness"? Lishaness
2. 2 feelings at the moment? Sian and bored.
3. What are you listening to right now? Birds outside the window twiterring away
4. Done anything you've regret so far this week?No. (:
5. Describe where you are right now? Home
6. The highlight of your week? Band prac on fri.
7. What are you craving to have right now? Something that kills boredom.
8. Who were the last people you ate with? Mum.
9. What are you scared of? Moths.
10. Last movie you watched? 881, which was a long time ago T.T
11. Last songs you sang out loud? Probably national anthem, haha.
12. Are you thinking of someone now? No.
13. Who is the last person you talked to? My maid.
14. Last thing you downloaded on your computer? Tchaikovsky piano concerto no. 1 movement 2 sheet music.
15. Have you changed much this year? Guess so ><
16. Hug or kiss? Hug duh.
17. Who was the last person who text messaged you? Dione.
18. Where was the last place you went besides where you are? Jogging yesterday.
19. Do you speak any other language other than english? Chinese + Hokkien.
20. Last thing you watched on tv? Can't remember when I last watched TV. T_T
21. Do you dress for style or comfort? Both.. more of comfort actually.
22. Name someone with the same birthday as you?Sharon Stone.. if I'm not wrong..
23. Ever had a drunken night in mexico? No -.-
24. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?... -.-
25. Favourite colours? Blac, lime green, hot pink.
26. What's your favourite cereal character?Non-existent.
27. Who do you love?Family, friends, hamster, GOD!

Girly
[x] I love at least one shade of pink.
[x] I don't like being messy.
[x] My belongings are organized.
[ ] I don't like rock music.
[x ] I like wearing accessories. (Earrings only though)
[ ] Bright colors amaze me.
[ ] I hate black.
[ ] I go to the saloon once a week.
[ ] I comb my hair almost all the time.
[X] I bring my phone with me everywhere.
Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 40% girly... wow. O.O

Boyish
[x] I wear baggy pants.
[ ] I play video games.
[ ] I listen to boy bands like My Chemical Romance, Yellowcard, Switchfoot, etc.
[ ] I like wearing jackets with hoods.
[x] I'm too lazy to do chores.
[ ] I don't like shopping.
[ ] I like to go bungee jumping.
[ ] I like being sweaty. (That's so gross can.)
[ ] I'm a big fan of marvel heroes.
[x] I barely wear perfume.Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 30% boyish.

Nerdy
[ ] I always carry a pen in my purse or pocket.
[x] I enjoy studying. (Sometimes >.< )
[x] I wear glasses.
[ ] I'm a straight-A student.
[ ] I've never skipped any class in my whole life.
[ ] I like my shirt tucked in.
[x] My favorite subject is science.
[x] I enjoy reading books.
[x] My assignments are passed up on time.
[x] I correct people with their grammar.Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 50% nerdy.

Emo
[x] I love the color black.
[ ] I always sit at the corner.
[ ] One side of my hair is covering one of my eyes.
[x] I like listening to metal rock music.
[ ] I have a lot of problems in my life.
[ ] I'm not much of a loud person.
[ ] I don't talk much.
[ ] I don't have that much friends.
[ ] I barely have fun.
[ ] I barely go out with my folks or friends.Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 20% emo.

Childish
[ ] I am open to my parents.
[x] I sleep with a stuff toy.
[ ] I watch cartoons.
[x] I don't like watching horror movies.
[ ] I sleep with a night light.
[ ] My parents are the ones who choose my outfit.[ ] I'm scared of roller coasters.
[x] I like being with my family relatives.
[ ] I take bubble baths.
[ ] I've ran around the house in my underwear.
Add up all your marks and multiply it by 10.
I am 30% childish.

NEXT
1.Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours? Nobody duh.
2 . Who do you blame for your mood today? Myself.
3. Have you ever seen a dead body? Yeah.
4. What should we do with stupid people? Nothing.
5 . How long do you think you will live? No idea.
6. What was the first thing you did this morning? Open my eyes?
7. The color of carpet in your bedroom? I don't have a carpet there.
8. Last person you went out to dinner with? Family.
9 . Are you spoiled? Maybe, a little.
10. Do you drink lot of water? Kind of.
11. How do you vent your anger? Curse and shout >.<
12. The last compliment you received? WTH -.-
13. Do you look more like your mother or father? Half of each (:
14. When was the last time you threw up? A few months ago.
17 . What theme does your room have? Sianness.
18 . Are you a momma's child or a daddy's child? Dunno.
19. Would you ever join the military? NOOO.
20. The last websites you visited? Blogger? To do this quiz?
21. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Dunno.. can only remember it must have been with some jarvii on the last day of school.
22. Last person you went to the movies with? Family.
23. The last person you stared at? Nobody.
24. Number of pillows on your bed? 1, what you expect?
25. Is anything alive in your room? Sometimes my hamster.
26. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week? Forward.
27. What is your current goal to achieve? Not telling (:
28.How do you feel when you see him? Who?
29. How long is your hair? Below shoulders.
30. What are your current worries? How to cope with piano, schoolwork etc next yr.
31. Do you have plans for summer? There's no summer in Singapore, and anyway I have no plans =P

koped this from somewhere (:

1. Yourself? hot! XD
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend? non-existent.
3. Your hair? long.
4. Your father? why?
5. Your mother? why?
6. Your favourite item? PIANO!! <3
7. Your dream last night? nothing.
8. Your favourite drink? coffee!
9. Your dream car? mercedes =D
10. The room you are in? white.
11. Your ex? non-existent.
12. Your fear? nah.
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? secret =D
14. Who did you hang out with last night? family (:
15. What you're not? i'm hot, you're not! xD
16. Muffins? suck.
17. One of your wish list items: faith
18. Time: tiger
19. The last thing you did? type? O.O
20. What you are wearing? clothes (:
21. Your favourite weather? cool
22. Your favourite book? Bible
23. The last thing you ate? lunch
24. Your life? sian
25. Your mood? sian
26. Your friends? dunmanians
27. What are you thinking about right now? finishing-this-stupid-quiz
28. Single or taken? SINGLE
29. What are you doing at the moment? typing?
30. Your summer? OK.
21. Your relationship status? SINGLE.
32. What is on TV? dunno.
33. What's the weather like? HOT!!!!! (like me)
34. When is the last time you laughed? dunno.
35. Hurt? nah. xD

i can't believe it! in 2 days' time, our class posting results will be out! dun think i'll get into a very good class, though. my EOY results sucked like nothing you see.

Random Quiz

GREEN is for truth.

I'm missing someone right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games. (Have I even played before?)
I've tried marijuana (No way! My policy is to stay off drugs ok?)
I have been in a threesome (It's not morally upright)
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship (I've always been single)
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. (I said USUALLY...)
I curse sometimes (Not that I'm proud of it >.<)
I have changed a lot mentally over the past year (Yeah...)
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me (For what?)
I've broken someone's bones (Crazy. I don't have the strength to anyway -.- )
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free. (It's painful)
I need money right now. (Duh right)
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast (Why be in such a rush?)
I have long hair. (That goes without saying -.- )
I have lost money in Las Vegas (I've never been there you NOOB)
I have worn fake hair/nails/eyelashes in the past (And I like it this way =D )
I couldn't survive without Caller ID (I only had Caller ID this July leh)
I am usually pessimistic. (LOL.)
I have a lot of mood swings. (Happy means happy, sad means sad. Understand?)
I have a hidden talent. (If it's hidden you won't even know of its presence HELLO)
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. (I'm NEVER hyper)
I am currently single. (Too busy for steading -.=" )
I have pecked someone of the same gender (Eew. I'm not les ok.)
I enjoy talking on the phone. (Nah, msn is better)
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (Who does?)
I love to shop. (YAY!!!)
I enjoy window shopping. (Better than shopping, no need to waste $$)
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone. (Even if I did I won't say it here xD )
I'm a pretty good dancer (Like I have time to learn dancing?)
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother (Of course not. She's my MUM after all)
I have a cell phone. (We are living in the 21st century, my dear.)
I believe in God. (No questioning)
I watch MTV on a daily basis (I haven't watched MTV for at least 2 years o_O )
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (I've never passed out and never been drunk. :D )
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. (Like duh, of course I know what I want =.= )
I want to have children in the future. (Haha...)
I have changed a diaper before (Enduring a bawling baby is still better)
I've called the cops on a friend before. (What's the point of calling the cops on a bunch of law-abiding people?)
I'm not allergic to anything. (I just discovered that taking too much coffee makes my eyes have a pulling sensation =( )
I have a lot to learn. (I'm only 14...)
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. (Imagine steading with a 4-year-old boy =.=)
I am shy around the opposite gender. (What's there to be so shy about?)
I have tried alcohol before. (And yes, I liked it xD )
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. (That's so jian4 can!)
I own the "South Park" movie. (I don't really like movies)
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. (Its pizza tastes the same as that of any other place's.)
I have used my sexuality to advance my career. (Like how?)
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. (I admit I like some of his music, but his scandals destroy my good impression of him)
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. (Why can't they celebrate it here in Singapore?)
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have more than just my ears pierced. (Where else is a conventional place to pierce huh?)
I walk barefoot wherever I can. (Yeah, do it and get your feet dirty.)
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles. (Turtles are all the same to me.)
I spend ridiculous amount of money on makeup. (I don't wear makeup.)
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream (It's better to just de2 guo4 qie3 guo4 :) )
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. (Supposedly, a Diploma-level pianist.)
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs. (Better than working at McDonald's right =.= )
I love sci-fi movies (I said I don't really like movies.)
I think water rules.
I went college out of state. (I've never been to college. I'm only 14 -.- )
I love sausages.
I adore bright colours. (That's why I chose GREEN!!)
I can't live without black eyeliner. (I hate makeup.)
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. (Out of boredom, maybe? :) )
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle. (Sad right.)
I can move my tongue in waves.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've written in.
I can't stick to a diet. (I'm not very self-disciplined you see)
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. (Fall down and break head then how?!)
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear/wore a toe-ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. (Even if it's true, I won't say it here =D )
I am a caffeine junkie (I need coffee! Argh.)
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better. (I hate cluttering up my house.)
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when messy.

LOL. Long quiz done out of boredom. Tomorrow must go back to school. Sian.

wah sian... i have a headache now.. must have been due to sleeping too much >.<

it's only the first week of hols, and i'm already missing 2J like siao. am swearing off coffee for the next 1 week coz my mum thinks i got my aunt's genes which are particularly not very resistant to coffee. =( which means the only thing i can do is to go the natural way by sleeping well. at the end of the 1 week, lisha shall become a pig!!! xD jkjk.

yesterday had cca, and that was a convenient way to see some of the other jarviis (: performance at sentosa this sun, 4th nov! come support us yeah?

just finished printing the 1st movement of tchaikovsky's piano concerto no. 1, which is 56 pages long! much more imba than bach's toccata and fugue, which is 20 pages long. a few weeks ago i printed 30++ pages of the concerto, then my printer no ink LOL. as i was fearing being labelled as 'wasteful' by my parents, i happily waited until my mum changed the printer catridge today, so that i could print the rest of the movement. but still must go hunt for 2nd and 3rd movement leh!! i heard all 3 movements are 115 pages altogether. will need a super amount of ink to print, and a super large file (both in the comp and in real life) to store everything.

feeling lazy, shall not start on hol hw or sec 3 stuff or piano diploma concert report (which is worth 10 marks for the ATCL diploma exam). feeling super bored. practised piano until sian, msn until sian, even watched youtube until sian. post-exam blues man. have been feeling this way since the exams ended. and since i didn't do very well, i should be studying for next year right? WRONG.

bleh. shall go watch youtube (though i'm still bored of it). bye.

so it ends tonight.

for the past 2 years, Jarvix (1J'06, 2J'07) have gone through so much, and nothing can change that. and within such a short span of 2 years, we all will split up and embark on our different paths. but i really hope that it won't make us strangers, like what we first were when we met last year (in sec 1).

almost everybody cried today (except the guys and a few girls), and it's been a long time since i last cried that way. the thought of us not being able to be together anymore.. splitting up.. it saddens me. but i hope we all can remain friends FOREVER!!! :)

<3

i wish every jarvii the best, and if i happen to have offended anyone, i apologize and bear no grudges. after tonight, 2Jarvix '07 will be nonexistent, but the friendships will last.

so it ends tonight.

today is tuesday already, and our last day for the year will be on thursday. only a few more days for us to be called 2Jarvix before we all get split up into different classes. we got back our EOYs,and yeah (as expected), my results ARE crap. now don't even know if i can get into triple sciene or not. oh my gosh. had better work hard for next year. (not that i already am, just that i'm so bored now that it's after exams so i just start reading sec 3 stuff for leisure) (: ahh. at least i can slack now, and do the things i like and really wanted to do before the exams ended but didn't have the time to.

other than that, now my days are long and boring and plain sian. its's ironic - before our exams, we all cannot wait for the day we are released from the gruelling torment (as most would call it) of study; after exams, however, we are filled with the exams-are-over-so-there's-nothing-to-do syndrome, and can't help but to do something 'productive' like... STUDY?!?! LOL.

wonder what next year will hold in stall for us. have accepted the offer to do MEP until A-levels, and am considering taking BSP o_O so i guess it will be pretty heavy and hectic. never mind, enjoy while we still can!

p.s. band camp is from the 17th to the 20th december, and we will have to stay overnight in school on the 19th. =( one night more away from home, as if level camp doesn't tke away our 'quality family time' enough. i thought they were encouraging us to bond more with our family members, especially our parents? why are they now taking away our precious free time (holidays are rare!) with them? oh gosh.

p.p.s. i wonder if any RGPS 6F-er `o5 will still be going back to RGPS next year, considering the fact that we will be in sec 3? actually, i don't mind :) but then again, it's weird to be the only one going back when everyone else has already chosen to move on.

bye.

EOYs ended yesterday, and that marked the start of the since-exams-are-over-so-there's-nothing-to-do period. rahh. today was interclass, but i didn't go coz i wanted to sleep.. sorry! xD hope 2J did well. wonder how our results are? lol. i dun want to think about that now.. enjoy first!

i'm bored :/

and since now that i've gotten rid of the blogging addiction, i don't even feel like blogging anymore. whether or not i have anything to say, when i post on my blog, suddenly i don't have anything to say anymore -.- stupid right. think i flunked science. i may not be able to make it to triple science after all, i'm serious.

sian. and in a few more weeks 2j shall split up into many different classes, and look forward to embarking on our new lives though still in dunman high. argh so sad.

went to youtube and listened to people playing pathetique sonata there, but i don't think most of them played that well. i feel there could be more dynamics, faster tempo and so on so forth.. but i just continued listening out of sheer boredom. rightfully, i know i should start studying for next year, since there's going to be more competition, but never mind, a little break doesn't hurt. not that i studied so hard before the exams. kind of gave up on my studies already.

but the good news is.....

NO MORE GEOGRAPHY FOREVER!!!

(:

i hate that subject i hate that subject i hate that subject.. don't understand why do people say it's easier to score. history is nicer. haha.

feel like changing my msn dp to out mgs 3.3 one. just for fun (now it's one of the 2j fun photos).

bye

EOYs are coming. now is like the sept hols, and i have barely started revision?! GG.

sept hols have been busy. trying to cram in all the revision i can (which amounts to nothing) while trying to cope with being so busy ): just now went to do my piano CD recording, and made lots of mistakes, but luckily my piano teacher's husband was kind and patient enough not to get pissed with me. thanks! the recording was FUN =) but i only had time to record one song. never mind, as mr ang said, it's not easy to do a good recording.

jiayou for EOYs!! hope everyone can make it into the subject combi they want.

____________

oh how could i forget? fri was teacher's day celebration. my class performed, sang zao an lao shi and peng you. was fun (: and the class took a photo with ms seow, who was dressed in a dunman high uniform! she looks like a student from far away...

after tt was band's teacher's day, and we sang the 1st verse of Stand By Me. the celebration was supposed to only take 15min, but it ended up being 1hr 15min! which means tt instead of chionging back to RGPS at 10.15, i rushed back (jiayun almost didn't wait for me) at 12.

been a long time since i last went back, and the juniors don't recognize me T.T didn't visit the teachers, coz i saw the 6f 'o5 people and we decided to go out. half of them went to plaza sing, and the rest of us went to sarah lee's house and slacked the whole afternoon.

wonder if anyone will be going back next year? 6f 'o5 forever!

<3

i just realized something--my posts are getting more and more frequent, which i just can't understand why. it's not as if i'm like so free everyday, but i still have so much time to blog.

yeah. so i had cello lesson today, and I FINALLY PASSED 34A!!! after like how many weeks of correcting by mr song. LOL. finished half of 34b, and will be doing the other half of it and 35 for homework. and halfway during lesson, mr song suddenly took out a "are you part of 100k?" card, and guess wad, it's FROM MY CHURCH! think he offered it to all his students, he was saying if we needed anything we could write it down in the card and pray. that's nice (: (no sarcasm, seriously!) but i've already gotten one from my godmother. omg. didn't realize he goes to my church.. just hope tt i dun bump into him during some service or celebration! will never dare to perform cello for any public gatherings in this church. =X just in case he's around.

now here comes the exciting part. MY BAND INDOOR TEST TODAY! mr ng was asking me if i preferred mr song or tian lao shi, whose teaching style i like more etc. was totally freaked out. ka woon said i looked nervous (she, xingqi, chun bok and ying qing were in the band room during my turn. sock hian asked joanna to go, but by then i started, so joanna didn't want to come in.) major minor scales quite ok, but when he test me D major pent tone, it's like i totally freaked out and ended up playing whole tone! then he was very nice, he asked are u sure this is pent tone, then asked me to play one octave (i was playing 2), and it was only after i finished playing the scale did i realize wad a serious mistake did i make. wth. then it was queen, study and choice piece. i was surprised when chun bok said i got 91--high distinction. thought i just managed to scrape a pass.

anyway, trying to do the LA proj, math is already 1 weekend late. didn't revise for all the common tests. die..

IDMI Week. and there goes 20% of my history and LA marks for CA2. one whole week of no regular lessons is fun (: wish it was longer.

feeling damn sleepy now (as usual)

btw the third movement of mozart's piano sonata no. 13 in B flat major is nice. used to think ALL sonatas were in ternary form, but i think it's theme and variations. or maybe another form.. i know i thought of something, but somehow i just can't remember it =X oh well.

was sick yesterday. i wanted to stay back and help out with the IDMI project in the afternoon, but my group was understanding and let me go home to rest! thanks for you all's concern and support.

heard my hamster running on his wheel just now. dunno what's he doing now. my maid says he's sleeping, as usual. LOL.

sianned out.
pissed off.
nice to be in primary school.
but it's impossible to turn back time.
worried about the ever-so-atrocious marks.
knowing a lower GPA will be in wait.

such a lousy poem!

LOL.

ugh
i feel like swearing but like duh, i cant.
seriously! O.O

and up till now, i still wondered if it was you. sometimes i wonder if you even have a mind of your own. maybe you do, maybe not. maybe you will never read this post. or maybe by the time you read it, this post would have been deleted. or maybe you will read it someday this year, next year.. and find out wad i've said. not that i have anything to hide in the first place.

forgiven you for wad you've done already. but nevertheless, still very pissed. sometimes i wonder if i was blind enough to think you were a good friend. maybe you are, but i'm too pissed to see the good points you possess.

whenever i see you, i feel this sense of hate.. but i think it's quite sad the friendship is lost and all that. yes, i believe your apology was genuine, but since you breached my trust, would i dare to trust and befriend you ever again?! duh no! if you could spill a secret (in fact, at least 2 secrets) to those i didn't trust as much as you (which was not unfamiliar to you), what does it show? YOU CANNOT BE TRUSTED! and how, how, HOW can i ever have a friend i dun even trust?

oh forget it. i doubt i'm even vocalizing wad i feel towards you. maybe you think it's all forgiven and forgotten... forgiven, maybe, but it will never be forgotten...

so now i am super pissed. and super worried for fear of my crappy marks dropping some more. no, it's not tt i'm being hypocritic now... at least not anymore. and i daresay i have every right to be concerned about my history's fate.

letter writing: not done well.
history poem: just as bad :(
history interview: just passed. T.T

omg wth lar. i still want my A for history okay. and mind you, for EOY i did so much better. now i'm seriously considering whether i should take theatre arts next yr instead of history or geog. but my parents say no after wad i've told them coz apparently, history is still more useful, and many ppl dun have high impressions of theatre arts, even if it's a very rigorous and tough subject. but if it helps me score, why not?

i dunno wad long term detrimental effect these atrocious scores will create in future - the past always comes back to haunt you, right? even up till now, ppl still remember PSLE and talk about it. and PSLE was like 2 years ago?! so dun tell me this history will be remembered for years! and furthermore there is streaming at the end of the year... wad makes me think i can get a nice subject combination if all my marks are utter bullshit?

this is total crap man.

argh. so discouraged. and it's not as if the whole class did so poorly for history okay.

for the past few months i haven't been coming to blogger regularly.. coz i couldn't post.. but now i found a way tt i can post more frequently! so now this poor pathetic blog wouldnt be so dead (: so u all COME AND TAG!

lol i know i sound damn happy now. but i guess i should still update on wad has been happening these few days.. even though it may not be on such a light note.

yesterday was open house, which meant tt i had to wake up super early (7am!!) and change my piano lesson ): i love piano lessons ok!! and it's less than a year to my piano exam! ATCL dip! omgomg. better start practicing man... before i really fail this time round.

recently a lot of changes has been going on, and i can't say i'm too happy about it. i trusted you... but now i dun. as a matter of fact i'm disappointed in you. (after wad you've done.) you apologized and told me tt if i had any problems i could come look for you.. as you said, were friends, right? omg. i dunno how to answer this question. it's not as if i dun want to be friends, but i dun want to become enemies or get involved in a cold war with you. i can't believe our friendship may not survive coz of it. i believed you worthy of my liking and trust. but now...

ppl say i should just forgive you, though i dun have to forget about wad happened. actually its true, but this forgiveness comes with a condition tt i treat you exactly the way i used to. is it possible?? yes, i do sound emo here. but i've told myself tt it's pointless being emo over some small matter which wasn't even my fault, so i should just move on. and i have. but i'm still recovering from the initial shock of wad you've done, including the threat to sever our friendship.

i've made up my mind. i'm going to do wad i want to do.

AT LAST.. got a chance to blog (: for so long, my blogger has been taking like FOREVER to load and it would be impossible to post. school started.. omg. so tiring ><

I DID NOT POST FOR MORE THAN 2 WEEKS! omg omg. this blog is like so freaking dead now can. so i decided to revive it now.. during comp lesson (: lols. the CA1 results have been out since a few weeks ago.. and i can't say i did well =/ could have done better for math, geog and chinese. if only i hadn't failed that chinese test...

anyway, here are my results (except for MEP, which are not out yet):
LA= 85 (A+)
HCL= 64 (B)
Science= 77 (A)
Geography= 70 (A)
Math= 73.8 (A) (could have done better for this one)
History= 41/ 57 (A) (converted to percentage)

looking forward to rhythm 21 soon. hope queen's symphony will be better by then. think the 1st movement is the nicest among all. my results are not superb. happy holidays everyone.

in the comp lab now, having geog lesson. since i hardly update nowadays, decided to revive this blog. yesterday was not feeling well again, so geog and math test postponed to tmr. wish me good luck! hey, gtg now. bb.lol

haha.. been almost a month since i last posted ><>

this coming week, there will be math common test 2, science blood bank trip, geog common test 2 and MEP practical. and i haven't started on MEP portfolio, nor the one for PCCG. and there's cross-stitch. hope MEP practical can pull up my pathetic MEP scores.. which was why i was too lazy to prepare a new piece. just going to play autumn crocus, the one i played for grade 8. hope it didn't 'deprove' lol.

but the piece i'm mos scared of is the chopin etude. damn lah. practically the whole song involves running down the whole piano (which, in other words, means a lot of wrong notes). and i don't think i'll get a chance to practise it these few days.

and i know i should do better than what i'm doing now. should spend more time on all my subjects especially maths and chinese. my maths marks totally suck now can. and my chinese has never been that great either. feel like i'm going to get sore throat again soon. wasted time this morning and still wasting some more.. oh no. somehow i don't feel that tired now.. at least i don't have that temptation to drop down and sleep for hours.

k bye.